Some Rules

Ok -- it's time for some of the first rules I've learned. These were all found the hard way:

1. In Guadalajara - 95% of the time you want to turn left. To do this, you must at first turn right. It only seems correct that if you want to go this way, you must first go that way. It's kind of like a little test. The roads are saying "Jose -- I know you THINK what you want is over there... but first explore what is over here". It's true. Trust me.

2. "C" on the faucet stands for CALOR-- which means HOT as hell. It doesn't matter that you already knew that. Because in the morning, when you are barely awake, and fumbling through the shower -- it's going to burn. Everytime. Trust me.

3. Driving through Mexico is a little bit like swimming to a private island. The swim will take some time and patience, and it will probably be beautiful but when you're done -- you're stuck in the middle of nowhere.

4. You must abandon your love of water pressure. If you are adament that you at least need a trickle -- then this place is not for you. Stay home... trust me.

5. Netflix and Hulu are bitches and they won't let you watch content outside of the US because of "studio license issues".

6. Full bars on Telcel 3G doesn't actually mean anything. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's a fun game actually. "Oh, what, you need the map to load so you can figure out how to get home... HA! not here buddy. Let's see how you make it now. Signed - Telcel"

7. Blogging about your crappy times is much cheaper than a therapist... trust me.

Jose Chavez -- The Beginning

Some of you may be wondering where Jose Chavez came from. Well, as a dark skinned American in Mexico, it was thought that I might stick out. Fearing the worst, we needed to develop a plan to allow me to blend into the surroundings. This had to be a bullet proof alibi. We needed a latin country with dark people. Naturally, we decided it was best to say I was from Venezuela. And why stop there? If you are going to be from Venezuela, you're brother may as well be Hugo.

Now Jose Chavez has morphed into this alter ego for me. I use him to tell me what to do. Because Jose is so familiar with the country already, he develops these little rules for me to follow (for example - you have to tip the bag lady at Walmart!). Jose's comments and suggestions are what this blog is about. It should be taken as a step-by-step approach to moving to Mexico.

Take it serious.

Your life may one day depend on it...

JC